I remember talking to a girlfriend when my first daughter was nine months old. The past nine months had been hard. I had struggled with a difficult and scary birthing experience and had definitely battled some baby blues. But I was figuring it out – “If I just force myself to take a shower and brush my teeth every day, it makes the baby-crying and the sleep deprivation just a little easier.” My girlfriend didn’t have children yet. She was silent. I regretted my confession – sometimes I don’t shower…sometimes I don’t brush my teeth! I have to REMIND myself to take care of myself. When you cross over to the world of motherhood, a lot of things change. And while most of the changes are unbelievably wonderful, there are definitely some changes that make the transition tough. For example, I never knew that I’d have to share so much of myself – share time, share my bed, share the shower, my clothes, my lipstick, and my dessert. I can get so lost in my kids that I have to make a conscious effort to remember who I am – to do things that make me feel good or I never get around to it and I end up feeling like I’m drowning. In the evenings, I create. I spend all day wading through laundry, toys, dishes, and tangles – when the kids go to bed, I HAVE to do something creative, every night. I have a bucket list of things that I know make me feel good – sew, bake, blog, etc. But during the day, I have a bucket list, too. Brush teeth, take a shower, drink coffee. They’re the basics in self-care, really, and I don’t dedicate a lot of time beyond that to beautify myself.
kristin says
I don’t care about the sweepstakes, I just wanted to send you a virtual hug. So sorry the baby blues hit you so badly back then, and I totally get the having to share EVERYTHING and just wanting time for yourself. That’s so much of why I sew/blog too. Take care, Stef!!
cestMoi Sandy says
Hi Stef!
I have not visited here for a while, but this post stuck out to me and touched me deeply!
Do not want to participate in the sweepstakes…
But, I too had with my second a baby blue cloud.
She cried and cried… nursing did not work out, and on top of that I had no more time for my firstborn that needed me so bad.
This is also when nights with good sleep ended.
Showered in the late afternoons. I like showers in the mornings.
Forgetting to eat or even brush my hair.
Later when all this happened again with number 3, I too had a friend, she opened my eyes and said that I need to claim the time to shower, and try to beautify myself…
even if it is to just put a skirt on or pretty blouse and get out of those slacks.
That sooooo helped me out. It worked! I become a much happier mom.
Thank you so much for bringing back these precious times.
Now I try to do the not so fun tasks when kids are up to have a little bit of time for myself when they are sleeping. Luckily we now can fold laundry together!
Have a lovely week!
Sandy