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Keeping it All Together

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balance-(2-of-2) I’ve rewritten this post too many times to count.   It’s a tricky topic – and a subject that I think so many of us struggle with on a daily basis.  There’s this idea in our society that if we, as parents, just try hard enough, or read enough articles, or poll all the moms we know, that we’ll figure it out – how to do it all, how to keep all the plates balanced in the air (with a pretty cupcake on top).  This idea is based on some common misunderstanding that what we’re already doing isn’t enough.  We observe others that we deem “similar” to ourselves and collect a database of all the things that we think we should be doing.  We see the mom at school who not only is the PTA president, but also volunteers countless hours in her child’s classroom and serves at the food bank every Wednesday.  We see the mom as we drive by the park who sits happily watching her children play while handing out carrot sticks and whole-grain, freshly baked muffins.  We see the mom at the gym or the mom in a snazzy business suit, and it goes on and on.  We take from what we observe and desire about each of them and add it to the list.  And then we look at this extensive, impossible, comprehensive list and decide that we’re not doing enough. It’s time that we let go of this impossible quest and learn to be truly happy with ourselves, be satisfied that we’re doing enough.  For me, this will always be a struggle, but if I keep a check on my priorities and stay focused on what’s important to me, to my family, I can go to bed at the end of the day feeling like it was enough. I read something once about friendships.  The gist of the article was that our friends each play different roles in our lives.  One friend might make us laugh, another lends advice, and another reminds us how to play.  Can we view our roles in our families the same way?  Instead of comparing ourselves to each other, let’s accept that we each play an important, different role in life.  Take care of yourself in the way that you need it.  Take care of your family in the way that you feel comfortable.  Work to make sure that the basics are taken care of – nourishment, shelter, nurturing.  Figure out how to meet the basics of day-to-day life – driving the kids to school, paying bills, getting groceries.  Tell your family how much you love them every single day.  And focus on who you are and what your role is and just do your best.  Adapt as life changes, because it always changes.  The truth is, there’s not one answer to making it all work because it’s not a one size fits all quest.  Do what works for you and your lifestyle, and know that you’re doing just fine. balance-(1-of-2)

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Comments

  1. Cindy says

    Awe…Loved this post! I am sitting now almost laughing as my post today on the blog was “Is being a Mom an art” in my Wednesday in the Word. I think a lot of women are on the same page these day! Thanks for sharing. Hugs and blessings, Cindy

    Reply

  2. Jeanette says

    I make lists of things I must get done…helps be stay focused and less anxious that I will forget something. And I have a tendency to remember that these “things” don’t really count in the long run. Every day I have the love of my husband and children and that doesn’t depend on my performance or what I did or did not get done.

    Reply

  3. Jess M says

    Oh so true!! I am that mom that is up at school all the time, volunteering too many hours but my house is a disaster. It is important to me and my kids that I can be at school for the events and just the day to day stuff, the dust and dishes can wait!! I have learned that I will never be like the other mom’s and I am ok with that, to each their own 🙂

    Reply

  5. Annie says

    I take a deep breath and hug my child, and spend some time doing something my kid wants to do…reading a book, color together, or play dolls together. Those moments count more for both my child and myself, and chores can wait!

    Reply

  6. Erika says

    I try to have dinner ready before we call the kids to the table, and get the bath ready before I tell them it’s time for one- doing things ahead of time helps our family a lot!

    chambanachik(at)gmail(dot)com

    Reply

  7. Natalie says

    I try to prepare as much as I can over the weekend by making my lunches ahead of time and cooking some dinners to freeze. I also lay out my clothes for the next day.

    Reply

  9. Charity says

    I struggle with this EVERY day. I have to remind myself that I don’t have to do everything. Even just keeping kids clean, clothed, and fed can be difficult though.

    Reply

  10. Stacey Dalton says

    Keeping things balanced… Hmmm… More like an ebb and flow with me. Some days I feel inspired to do so many things and some days i am not so inspired. But it works for my kids and my family. I just have to pick and choose my “fun” activities and when we need down time.

    Reply

  11. heather says

    I make a lot of lists of the things that I need to get done during the day so I keep organized and not overwhelmed.

    Reply

  12. kelly croft says

    Everyday I spend quality timme with both girls. No matter what end up getting done, at least I have that.

    Reply

  13. courtney b says

    i try to create a schedule for myself and stick to it. i dont get side tracked and try no to let things slow me down like other stresses in my life.

    Reply

  15. Wanda McHenry says

    I keep from being overwhelmed by not having a care in the world. I don’t work and retired early and my day is care-free, simple and our lives are happy.

    Reply

  17. Alisha Huber says

    i take advantage of any downtime to try to get more organized in my life. Every bit of organization makes everything else easier. And every minute I’m not spending looking for that important form or whatever is a minute I get to spend with my children.

    Reply

  18. Susan Smith says

    I make a lot of lists of the things that I need to get done during the day so I keep organized and ask for help from my family if I need it.

    Reply

  20. Jessie C. says

    I stay organized by the help with my checklist. I make a list and follow it as much as I can, however not sweat over skipping some. It happens from time to time in life.

    Reply

  22. Tiffany says

    I try to keep a schedule. When that invariably changes, I just remind myself that my husband and daughter are happy and loved. The chores will never be done, but these precious young years will be over too soon.

    Reply

  24. D Schmidt says

    We plan ahead a lot and try to prepare for everything (as best we can) For example, I take a spare change of clothes for my children for the beach, lots of snacks and an emergency first aid kit.

    Reply

  26. Sonja says

    Some days I do get overwhelmed. I have a great helpful husband who often comes home to pick up the pieces . Other ways I survive and stay calm is to have a white board with the weeks schedule posted. I try to post the meal for that day (or at the very least take something out of the freezer that morning!). I also post the meetings/appointments for that week and a couple of “to do’s” that I try to accomplish during the week. If it doesn’t get done by Friday I usually erase it if its not important, or add it to next Monday. I like knowing I can erase something on my to do if its not really important…because if it was important I would have got it done! I like to have a cleaning schedule, that I’m kind of ignoring right now because we have relocated temporarily during our house reno, which involves one chore and a load of laundry each day. I try to involve the kids because then they aren’t making a mess right behind me. Extra chores I try to do in the evenings before I collapse on the couch or bed. Planned family fun events on the weekend gets them energized for the next week. Overwhelmed, one step at a time right? Or one moment at a time, and I try not to think too far in advance.

    Reply

  27. mysweetiepiepie says

    I try to limit myself to things I know I can actually get done, although sometimes I do get carried away.

    Reply

  28. Heidi G says

    I try to take a step back to see that my kids are healthy and happy and learning, and remember that it’s the small stuff that counts – listening to them, giving them my time, offering lots of hugs and smiles. I make time for myself to decompress by knitting/sewing or meeting with friends or taking a delicious nap. Oh… I have also avoided joining Pinterest, as tempting as it is. 😉

    Reply

  30. courtney b says

    i take lots of medicine! lol i know that sounds horrible but sometimes you need it when you have a super stressful life…which I totally do working full time with lots of kids running around!

    Reply

  31. Linda says

    I take advantage of organizational tools and like to make lists to help me plan out my day and tackle each thing in an organized, methodical manner so I am not as overwhelmed by the often, numerous tasks I need to do daily.

    Reply

  33. Ellie W says

    I keep a calendar/planner on my computer desk and use it to keep up with schedules, bills, and even prescription refills.

    Reply

  41. Gina M says

    I rely on my google calendar to keep myself organized.

    Thanks for the chance to win!
    wildorchid985 at gmail dot com

    Reply

  43. shelly peterson says

    I try and prepare as much as I can the night before so there is less to do in the mornings. this helps a lot.

    cshell090869 at aol dot com

    Reply

  45. Colleen Cecil says

    I read in a blog post at the beginning of the year to consider “embracing the chaos” as a resolution. And so I have. Yep it’s chaotic often but it’s my chaos.

    Reply

  48. Amy says

    I go to spin class, it kicks my butt, but oh my goodness does it feel good after, it’s like a reset button… i ffeel like I can conquer the world after. =)

    Reply

  51. Natalie J Vandenberghe says

    I pray, then prioritize. I’m hoping to win these tires for my middle daughter, a disabled Vet, who is overwhelmed by her situation. She needs new tires, so she has reliable transportation to the VA Hospital–which is more than two hours away. Thanks for the giveaway.
    That cupcake is beautiful 😉

    Reply

  53. Margot C says

    What a cute post! I keep myself from getting overwhelmed by delegating to (yes!) my husband and (yes again) my stepson. It’s a drag that they have to be told, but I don’t nag and they do stuff bless their hearts.

    Reply

  56. sorahart says

    Focusing on the good things we have going on in our family, instead of thinking of all the things we DON’T have, keeps me happy and keeps a positive atmosphere on our house. This is when things get done!

    Reply

  57. cindyzs says

    What do you to keep yourself from being overwhelmed by the challenges of everyday life? the best and most simple answer……..I pray……couldnt live without it! (i entered on the site with the rules on it, left your blog name and the same answer, well the pray part, thanks so much) I will pray to win the tires….i need them severly…….i was supposed to go be with my mom, but do not have the $$ to make the multi state trip, my tires are baaaad!!! and i know i would die in a wreck or kill someone else………so i am on hold… thanks again 🙂

    Reply

  58. Alida Lee says

    I’m struggling with this right now. One thing I do is go have a lunch or dinner with a friend. We’ll inevitably start talking about the challenges in our lives, and it makes me realize I’m not alone. Just knowing that my friends are in the same boat keeps me from feeling isolated!

    Reply

  60. Sarah says

    It is so easy for me to compare myself to other moms and then self criticize. I try to have quality time with my kids each day and remind myself that they are my most important job! If other things don’t get done, at least my most important job has gotten done!

    Reply

  61. Sandra says

    It took me a while but I learned I can’t do it “all”, and that’s ok. There are times when the balance works more in my favor and those times are great, but during the times when things are really busy and we eat leftovers for dinner and the kids get pb&j for lunch, I’ve realized that’s ok too. Life is about balance, do more when you can and cut yourself some slack when you just aren’t able to get it all done!

    Reply

  62. Susan says

    I drink wine.

    And/or take deep breaths. Make lists. Whittle lists down to what is actually do-able after I’ve made totally unrealistic lists. Sleep, because when I haven’t slept enough I make terrible decisions.

    Reply

  63. Elizabeth says

    I always think to myself “have I done what’s important today?” Evening if that is reading one book to one kid…it’s enough.

    Steveandliz(at)gmail(dot)com

    Reply

  65. Shannon C. says

    My days are extremely full with a new baby, a large family and just “life”. I HAVE TO get up at least an hour before everyone else in the house to pray and read my Bible. It centers me and helps me navigate the day for sure.

    Reply

  68. Sabra at Sew a Straight Line says

    Ice cream. It keeps me sane 🙂 Really, though, I set aside treats for crazy days. And I usually eat them in the garage, hiding by myself. This is my life 😉

    Reply

  69. Betty C says

    My mom told me once about her sister. She would stay at home and clean rather than going somewhere with her husband. Her husband passed away after only a few years of marriage and she always regretted not spending more time with him. My mom always said the housework can wait. Time with family is more important.
    To make sure I do the things that need to be done I have to have lists. I’m so forgetful I have to have multiple sets of keys because I can never remember where I left the last one I used.

    Reply

  70. Dandi D says

    I always get up early every morning so I can shower and do my devotions and prepare for the day before everyone else is up.

    Reply

  72. Cori Westphal says

    I’m a list maker. I makes lists for everything. And I put everything in my calender in my phone so I get alerts when I have to do something. Works for me!

    coriwestphal at msn dot com

    Reply

  76. Tabathia B says

    I try to keep my to do list and appointments on my calendar and space things out so I am not overwhelmed

    tbarrettno1 at gmail dot com

    Reply

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