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| What a Baby Shower-To-Go looks like |
These types of posts pop up in my reader from time to time – I find other people’s stories fascinating and encouraging and I nod as I read. I think about writing one often, but it’s a hard thing to put into words. Answering the question that I’m sure so many blog writers and crafty people hear – “How do you do it all?” The simple answer is this, “I don’t.”
This weekend, I organized a baby shower for my dearest friend and cousin. The whole thing came together beautifully, just as I envisioned – a day to celebrate how special my cousin is to all of us, and a day to celebrate the impending arrival of a long awaited baby girl. Two weeks ago, I set up Halloween decorations for a large, school event – something I’ve never done before. Two weeks before that, we threw Olivia her 7th birthday party. In five days, I’m hosting a dinner party for my girlfriends at my home as it’s my turn in the rotation for our monthly get together.
Now, this particular order of events is beyond crazy and far beyond my “normal.” But, it’s just the way things worked out and so I’ve been hearing a lot of “How do you do it all?” And the blog has been much quieter than usual. And so I thought we could talk about this.
I’ll say it again, I don’t do it all. First of all, what I do is what everyone sees. They see the crafted this and that. They see the pretty that I present. And I absolutely LOVE doing that stuff. It’s my passion, it’s what makes me tick, it gives me energy and motivation and the spark to do the next thing. I make lists, I collect ideas, I experiment, I squeal when something turns out the way I hoped, I throw things in the trash that are absolute FAILS. I need to do this crafty stuff. It makes me feel like a complete person, with my own interests and hobbies and passions that are independent of my role as a wife and mother.
But there is only so much time and there’s certainly not time to do everything. I don’t exercise, I don’t read books, I rarely lie down in front of the television without something in my hands that I’m working on. Sometimes, I don’t do the dishes. Most of the time, I don’t clean. I don’t respond to emails in a timely manner. I miss friends’ birthdays. My laundry pile is excessive, regularly, to put it mildly. I don’t play Barbies with the girls as often as they’d like. Sometimes, I serve pancakes for dinner. In the last few weeks, I’ve asked my husband more days than not to bring something home for dinner if he wants to eat something other than buttered noodles. My bathroom drawer has needed organizing for two years. My garage is in desperate need of cleaning. I have countless unfinished projects. I just don’t do it all. It’s a balancing act FOR SURE. Something has to give. We go through cycles. When I’m gearing up for an event, the house suffers.
And then the event is over, and I slow down in the craft room, and I try to reassemble the other things that have fallen apart. It seems to work out okay. I have an amazing AMAZING husband, who supports my crazy and doesn’t complain when he walks in the door to chaos during a “busy” time. And I have the most generous and supportive mom and sister, who help me with the girls all the time, and who run my errands for me, and cook us dinner on babysitting days, and seem to always make the food for my parties. And so much more.
So….I am super excited to start sharing all of the fun things we did for my cousin’s baby shower, which I haven’t been able to share in advance since she likes to visit here. I’m unpacking my car and sorting my things, I’ll be back shortly with some pictures. But when I show you the pretty, rest assured, there’s plenty of not so pretty that goes right along with it. Because I most definitely do not do it all.
Kerilyn says
You are truly a talented and well oiled machine when it comes to party planning! Really everything bame out so beautifully and with such detail! It was a pleasure to see you in action and see all your hard work come together. You made her day so incredibly special. I enjoyed this post…funny and honest! That photo of the back of your car cracked me up. That takes skill to pack a car that efficiently!
Tara says
I’m glad you posted this! As a fellow mom/wife/crafter/blogger/homemaker/babysitter I have a very hard time balancing it all. I love reading your blog, I admire the things you produce and I appreciate that I’m not the only one ignoring other such duties like housework! 😉
Kris says
I love your honesty!!!
xo Kris
Rachel at My Little Otter says
Sounds like my life. I run a busy Etsy shop and homeschool my kids and I really get tired of that question. Nobody can do it all. We pick and choose what we want.
Sometimes, my mantra is: That which screams the loudest, wins.
sweeter than cupcakes says
So well said! The timing is perfect as I am trying to recover my home from my daughter’s first birthday party. In fact, as I type this she has crawled into the dog crate. Off to the rescue.
Jessica at Me Sew Crazy says
Amen. Well put 🙂
JLL24 says
Thanks for being a normal person, an honest normal person. I wish I had your talent for parties, my son would love me more, ha, I know he loves me. But, I get frazzeled when the planing starts and things don’t go as planed. So, thanks, I feel better. Love your blog…wouldn’t miss it for the world.
Deanne Langford says
I think we need to remember that blogs are often showing the best things and not everything in people’s lives! Who wants to see dirty laundry and mess anyway- we have enough of that in our own lives! We need more of this kind of honesty so people don’t get the wrong impression that we have it all together!
Itsy Belle says
SSSOOOO true. You pretty much described my life! lol
Itsy Belle says
SSSOOOO true. You pretty much described my life! lol
Itsy Belle says
SSSOOOO true. You pretty much described my life! lol
Lanie says
I love when people share the truth, they don’t do it all. I know the real you better than myself sometimes, and yet…sometimes I believe you DO do it all. It’s the trickery of the internet I tell ya. And our minds always lead us to believe the grass is greener, or someone else’s life is more charmed or put together, etc. 🙂
Anyway. Just loved this cute little post revealing so much of yourself. Cannot WAIT for post shower pics, tutorials and reliving the experience again!!
Mom says
Ha Ha! When I saw your picture I thought, who snuck up behind me at the last craft fair and took a picture of my car crammed full of displays and products! =) You are not alone. I run a handmade children’s boutique which includes keeping inventory up in a store and doing craft shows 1-2 times a month during the busy seasons all from my home while I homeschool four kids, support and encourage my husband who is working on two master degrees and somehow remain reasonably sane. I get asked all the time how I do it. Like you, not well. I am so glad someone is honestly sharing how life is behind the scenes. Thanks for being honest.
Sunae Reilly says
Seems like i’m not the only one who has gained reassurance through this post! I am just starting out in the blogging/crafting world, and the real world too, for that matter, as I am about to turn 19 and move out of home, and I often wonder how I will hold it all together when I move. I will be an hour and a half away from my family and friends, dealing with the stress of bills and rent and cooking and cleaning for my self for the first time, a full time uni stuent, crafter and blogger and I often find myself thinking “well if the people who’s blogs I read can do it all with kids, then I can do it too!” I am glad to know though, that if I slip up a little and we eat noodles a few nights in a row, I’m not alone.
Sweetbug Studio says
I love your final words!!! They made me smile. I love doing my etsy shop and am amazed at the time I have “found” to spend time crafting, creating, sewing…for ME! I do not exercize, I watch one hour of TV in the evening with my husband, almost hate to cook dinners, but do what needs to get done. I have thought (BRIEFLY) of doing a blog but realize it is not realistic for me. I LIKE to have a clean house every Friday, laundry done and put away 2x/wk. For me this is my “doing it all”. Great post–thanks for sharing!
Lauras Crafty Life says
It can be really hard not to compare yourself to others and feel like you are not measuring up. But unless you actually walk in the other person’s shoes, you don’t really know what their life is like or what they struggle with. As a fellow blogger, I will sometimes read blogs and start to feel sad or down that these women do seem to “do it all” and I know I can’t do that. It is always nice to be reminded that no one really can do everything and while some aspect of your life may be flourishing, there is often something else not getting as much attention. The quote that “comparison is the thief of joy” could not ring more true. We all have to be happy with what we are doing and that we are being the best we can be!
Melissa (Melly Sews) says
🙂 I should add parties to the list of things I do not do. Thanks for sharing.
Leah Roy says
I love your honesty! Thanks for sharing 🙂
kristin says
Loved this post, and I could’ve written pretty much the same one myself! So thank you! Your husband might be a little more patient than mine, though…ha! I think most bloggers probably know that we all stay up too late and have messy houses aside from our photoshoot locations, but sometimes it bears reminding. Oh and also, I like QUICK projects. A half hour t-shirt gives me a blog post; not too shabby. Gotta have those mixed in with the more demanding ones, you know?
Emily S. says
Seriously, this was like ME writing. AMEN, amen, amen. It resonated, so I think you were meant to write it for all of us!
Rachel says
Thank you for sharing! I am glad you focus on areas where you are truly talented.
Kristie Clower says
Thank you for sharing. I’m having a hard time looking at blogs lately be cause I can’t stop comparing my behind the scenes chaos to everyone else’s sparkly clean perfectly lighted highlight reel. It’s always reassuring to be reminded that everyone has piles of laundry. When we finally meet I’m going to hug you because you just make my life happier.